Sexual shit part one
i am putting down just anything sexual that i can remember about my life (which isnt much)
earliest memory is that i learned about the "miracle of masturbation" really young about 6 or 7. I vaguely remember telling my best little friend Amy to do it with me. Then I get in a a shit load of trouble. My parents couldnt even get the words out. they had serious problems when it came to expalining sexaul issues. My mom made me guess what the problem was. She couldnt just say, "Annemieke youve been masturbating and your little friend Amy is now doing it at her house in front of her SUPER CHRISTIAN PARENTS and now they won't allow you to go over there anymore". Mom said you cant spend the night at Amy's anymore because youve been doing something that AMy has picked up. I said, "what, cussing, ? what". I didnt even know that masturbating was a sexaul thing at 7 years old. i just knew it felt cool. but i guess my parents thought i was a little sexual deviant.
That would be the trend in my parents way of handling sexual matters. I was a little masturbator from 7 on, that is until i met sarah when i was about 12. My mom was a church organist and I met Sarah at church, sarah was the daughter of the assitant pastor (not good) so since i was the little masturbator (sexual deviant) all ready
Sarah and I were bored one day and she suggested that we take a bath. So we were in the bathtub and I said well what do we do now? so she said "well my sister and I used to get on top of each other and imagine we were a girl and a guy" Didn't have to ask me twice. So that began like the longest sex relationship i have even had. The entire time were playing girl/guy. we werent gay. but just for you pervs out there, we did EVERYTHING. oral sex. we even took polaroid pictures of each others gentials. we felt each other up in her pool in her backyard. all the while we didnt realize were getting caught. I was spending the night at sarahs house one night and we wanted to mess around. So, we both pulled our nightgowns off. and then sarahs mom knocked on the door. We were like oh my god just a minute. only I had time to get dressed. sarah was still naked. Her mom came in and asked her why? she said that she was hot. (i mean that it was too hot in the house) Then our game was pretty much up. And my mother handled just so beautifully. I remember a tortourous conversation during the late eighties the AIDS scare was pretty high so i was scared i had aids because of what me and sarah had done. I was just a kid. 12. my mother wouldn't comfort me and just admit that sarah and I were doing it, and that I didn't have aids. she made me ask over and over but mom me and sarah weren't doing anything do I have aids? then after and hour I finally said okay we were doing something. and she said okay you don't have aids.
One thing that I am not clear on, which i hope didnt happen is that my mom was a church organist at the same church from the time I was 6 months old until I was sixteen. I know that one of the men (who was my basketball coach at a later age) used to take me into the nursery room (when I was seven, eight) I remember it being dark. and i know that he did take me there. I know that we used to play touch each others belly buttons or something. Now i know that to be a true memory, however when I look back on it, I dont wonder if something else didnt happen. The only other thing that could have happened was he pulled my shirt up and touched my little (non-boobs) thats possible. because why would we have been in a dark room together. but if some sort of abuse did happen thats about the extent of it. I am sure.
Now, a bit of a scary abusive one-time incident that I know happened occured when I was thirteen-fourteen. I was not getting along with my new stepfamily. So in order to get me out of the house my dad decided that I should do some janitoral work around the church that he did pastoral counseling for. My "boss" was an older black gentleman by the name of Jimmy. Jimmy and I got along fine. I talked to him alot and found out that he wasn't married. I figured that he was lonely but I didn't think much of it. One night, Jimmy and I were all alone there was NOBODY in the church. It was a weeknight and my dad was upstairs with a client. We did some cleaning in the church auditorium and there was a little janitor closet right next to the auditorium. So Jimmy said we needed to get something out of the closet. I said okay, he pointed to some paper towels that were on a very high shelf. I figured that he would just get them. but to my total astonishment, he picked me up. not by the armpits but by the boobs. I mean he had his hands on my boobs and was basically just feeling them. I had like no clue what to do. We both knew what he was doing. I realized that if Jimmy wanted to take this further he could. He kept his hands on my boobs for what seemed like forever. I got the paper towels, i consdered telling me dad, but i didnt. The weird thing of it was Jimmy knew what he did, and I think he had ever intention of possibly taking it further, because a little later in the week, Jimmy just up and quit. He had worked at the church for years. I pretty much knew why. Anyways after that, I was the masturbation queen making up stories on what would have happened if Jimmy had succeeded.
Okay end of part one...
Anna, you little Lolita lol!
Posted by: Bezzer | May 27, 2011 at 01:11 PM